


white blood (my soul, my heart, pull everything apart)

by tragickenobi



Series: modern quiobikin [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Multi, Obi-Wan Hurts So Pretty, Polyamory, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Pregnancy, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:12:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7803268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragickenobi/pseuds/tragickenobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi Wan’s grip tightens on the wheel and tries desperately not to tear up as he gets closer to home. The pattern of his life very seldom varied. His family never understood and ostracized him, guys either never wanted to touch him in the first place or left the second they found a “real” guy. The pit of dread in his stomach feels permanent as it expands even further, making him desperate to just have Qui Gon's and Anakin's arms around him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	white blood (my soul, my heart, pull everything apart)

**Author's Note:**

> this took forever to finish and i hate about 70% of it, but hey it's one third obi wan backstory, one third obi wan fighting a bitch, and one third cuddly fluff; it could've been worse.
> 
> dedicated again to lauren and to my amazing!! amazing first ever beta! ( found at http://gibbsith.tumblr.com/ ) thank you both so much for the support and i'm sorry this took so long for me to crank out lmao
> 
> and of course, if you didn't read all the tags- triggers for some brief homophobia and more present transphobia. most of it is past/referred to/internalized, but there is some in the beginning from an outside party, so read on as you will.

 

Obi Wan likes working daycare. He loves kids, and, what with the whole pregnancy thing, figures it's a needed life skill now. And he adores being friendly with every parent and new coworker that comes through for however long. He equally loves the awful parents, the ones that conveniently never show up again once they meet the trans gay guy with two boyfriends who’d been taking care of their child for several hours. They're fun.

Several un-fun parts of note; the kids who never listen to him, the bad parents who decide to stick around and badger him about what a bad job he does, and the coworker known as Harper.

Self defined, she's simply “traditional”. Which Obi had managed to pick up from minute one of having been introduced to her. A part of him is proud of being her worst nightmare; that by just being there he's managed to press all her buttons. And the other part of him tries his best to ignore the scathing glares she throws his way when he enters the building, the annoyed grunt he hears faintly when he talks with the other workers about Qui Gon and Anakin. He learns quickly to avoid her, and their lack of relationship is preferable to both parties.

And of course, it gets a little more strained once Obi plans ahead and works out nine weeks for maternity leave, which ends up being news spread around the employees like fresh gossip. Between his friends- well, he's got five girls constantly crooning over him, demanding to be updated on every little development with the child. Outside of them, there are occasional neutral comments and congratulations. Harper and some others are silent.

Around four months he starts showing much more noticeably. At home it’s great; not a day goes by that he doesn’t catch one or both of his boyfriends placing a hand over his stomach when they think he’s asleep. At work it causes more of a stir among parents. The problem is easy to fix when not at work; wearing more of his boyfriends’ clothes or wearing a size too big in order to hide the bump. It’s harder at work, in a more strict dress code.

He's been having an alright week of sorts when another comes along. His and Harper’s shifts line up - which has happened before; they speak only when it's essential and they survive it - except that they end up short staffed, again. It's himself, Harper, a friend (Evangeline), and two new workers he’d never had a shift with yet. Thankfully, there’s enough of them to deal with that day’s batch of kids, doing their individual little tasks. Just an hour before his shift ends, Obi finds himself left inside with Harper, cleaning messes while Eva watches the children play outside.

It’s tensely quiet, but is at least not hostile until Obi feels eyes on him. He glances back and catches Harper watching him as she picks up a decimated block tower, face stuck somewhere between a look of genuine curiosity and a sneer. He stares right back at her this time, eyebrow raised in silent question.

Another moment passes, then question, “How far along are you again?”

Obi Wan stands fully and adjusts his shirt where the bulge begins, feeling like he has to walk on eggshells to answer the question without hostility. “Nearly five months.”

Harper nods, setting the container of toys down in the corner and loosely crossing her arms over her chest. Obi Wan tries to believe this isn't all buildup to some direct dig at him.

“The father is-?”

“A fifty-fifty between Anakin and Qui. As of right now we don't care to test who or anything.”

She nods with a slight chuckle, which sort of begins to set Obi Wan off. Still keeping their nearly half the room distance, he turns more to face Harper. “What's funny about it?”

“Nothing, Obi.”

“Well clearly something is.”

Harper looks at Obi Wan with an innocent look, seemingly taking that as permission to take the line they’d drawn in the metaphorical sand and kick it away. “You’re positive the dad is one of those two?”

So it’s the whore insult she chooses. Fair enough, Obi thinks as he scoffs, he’s been called it before and couldn’t care less about the simple dig since it’s coming from her. “Yeah, because it’s amazingly easy to stay faithful to two men where there’s a mutual respect. And the three of us are going to run goddamned circles around you with raising a kid, thank you so very much.”

He starts pushing in the small chairs around the kid’s table that barely goes up to his thighs and hears the footsteps approaching him. Hopefully everyone will remain outside long enough for this to get out of their system.

“Baby, if you think any judge is going to look at your little pseudo family and let you keep that kid, you’ve got a hell of a thing coming,” Harper’s tone is painfully condescending, bordering on false pity. Obi doesn’t waste a second turning around with a harsh glare, mostly ignoring the way his ears go warm despite his best efforts to appear anything other than enraged.

Still, otherwise, he restrains himself to another bemused scoff. “There’s no reason any judge is going to take _my_ child.”

Harper opens her mouth for response but Obi Wan cuts her off, “And whether it’s the trans thing or the gay thing or the two boyfriends, none of it’s ever been anything but completely willing and consensual and healthy. Whatever the fuck you think is going to be enough to hurt my family, let me tell you, it’s not.”

For the several seconds of silence, Obi feels a little triumphant. As much as he’d rather hit her with the first Tickle-Me Elmo he can dig out of the toy chest, verbal shutdowns are just as emotionally fulfilling. If Harper had just stopped there, it would’ve been satisfying.

But instead of the spat just stopping, the woman responds with a quiet scoff and another pitying smile that makes Obi Wan’s blood boil. “To start, Obi, if you’re dating boys then you aren’t in any way gay. That’s the least of _my_ issues. And if those boys - or yourself even - aren’t mature enough to just pick a side and date one person, then I’m telling you now that there’s no way they’re going to stick around for a kid they don’t even know who’s it is.”

For several heartbeats, those words hang in the air. Obi Wan insists to himself that the pit formed in his stomach is an automatic response at thinking about abandonment. But rather than getting his chance to retort that he knows - he _knows_ \- neither Qui Gon nor Anakin would do that to him, they're interrupted by the door opening with Evangeline and the kids right behind her. Immediately, Obi and Harper move away from each other like repulsive magnets, even through the air is thick with tension. It goes right over the kids’ heads, although Obi Wan receives a slightly worried look from Eva as she walks by him to keep the children within their area.

Obi Wan manages a small smile and nod before he focuses back on taking care of the kids. If by the time he clocks out he’s getting a little glassy-eyed with the sheer amount of kids around him with the thoughts of losing his own, no one asks him about it.

 

-

 

Once he’s on his way home, Obi Wan ends up thinking about his parents.

Sometimes it’s hard not to. Anakin never knew his dad and his mom had only died recently; Qui had dropped contact with his parents years before he and Obi had met; making Obi the only one of the three with an existing parental relationship. And even then, only barely so.

Qui Gon had met his parents maybe a year into their relationship, back pre-Anakin. Anakin had met them as well a rough eight months after they’d collectively gotten together. Each time was a unique level of tense and awkward, and each time presented a new giant hurdle to try and jump.

The first time he brought Qui Gon down to the house, the atmosphere was immediately hostile, the second they were inside and got to seeing the inside of the house. All the photos on the side tables and scattered along the wall were of Obi pre-transition - or minimally when he wasn't as passing as he was to become. There was the also not-so-subtle lack of any pronouns used; they would use Obi fine, but any instance of _him_ or _his_ is conspicuously absent. It lasted until dinner when Qui Gon had finally snapped a little. Every use of pronouns from him is that much more exaggerated, until finally the argument started, and ten minutes passed before Obi Wan was able to drag Qui out the door before someone could end up throwing a punch. He didn’t speak to his parents for roughly six months after it.

Once it came time for his parents to want to meet Anakin, the problem wasn’t exclusively the transphobia. By that point they’d at the very least decided not to fight that battle; any lingering disagreements on the subject were kept out of earshot in the beginning of the night. It had turned then to the not understanding of polyamory. Halfway into that evening, his mother had been the one to pull him aside to demand answers as to why, in her words, he'd brought ‘his boyfriend and paramour’ to dinner. It'd been bearable until she'd let slip a “my little girl” and Obi Wan had gotten the three of them out of there record fast.

Now, months since that incident, they know he's pregnant. And even though they have yet to speak in person again, things slowly have started to patch back together (although undoubtedly to just be snapped apart again some time in the future). Obi Wan already loathes the day when he'll be around his parents for the first time post-delivery. Since he'll be a “mother” then. The thought of hearing that makes his skin crawl.

As Obi Wan hits the stoplight, his train of thought naturally shifts to similar incidents. The extended family who he never spoke to. Job opportunities that had been ripped right out of his grasp. The failed one night stands, before he met Qui Gon, where he was thrown out for “lying” to the men who’d taken him home. Every incident that had steadily chipped away at his self esteem and left him one more shitty incident away from totally falling apart, until his life finally began climbing upwards after meeting Qui. And even still there’s always been a part of him that waits for the good things to be taken away like everything else.

That had always just been the pattern of things. Have a loved one for a period of time, before inevitably losing them; be it to their own intolerance or the peer pressure of being associated with Obi. Whatever the reason, people have always moved in and out of Obi Wan’s life like he was just some roadstop. Anakin and Qui Gon made the longest relationship he'd been able to maintain, the people who had yet to wound him with an insensitive comment. It remains easily one of Obi’s worst fears to end up losing one or either of them. As aggravating as it is to admit, Harper had managed to dig back up the insecurities he’d had buried for so long. As much as he hates thinking about it, it’s all he _can_ think about; either or both men having a sudden change of heart and ultimately abandoning himself and now a child.

Obi Wan’s grip tightens on the wheel and tries desperately not to tear up as he gets closer to home. The pattern of his life very seldom varied. His family never understood and ostracised him, guys either never wanted to touch him in the first place or left the second they found a “real” guy. The pit of dread in his stomach feels permanent as it expands even further, making him desperate to just have arms around him again.

 

-

 

After parking in the driveway, Obi walks inside to an empty home. A quick check of his phone reveals that Qui has a school board meeting running way late, and he barely gets halfway through Anakin’s ‘staying late too :^((’ message before tossing his phone haphazardly onto the couch. He can more than handle being alone for a while; he just really doesn't want to.

He picks up his phone again only to send a text to their group chat that he's had a bad day and more than likely will be asleep napping by the time they're home, then turns the phone off while closing the bedroom door behind him. There's a bit of comfort to be found when he crawls into the center of the bed and pulls the covers up just under his arms. Seconds barely pass before morbid thoughts begin to creep back in again. Obi smoothes out the covers over himself, staring at his distended stomach. Some days it's still hard seeing the bump, dealing with the pregnancy. He's not as susceptible to dysphoria as he'd been several years prior, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't happen. If he ever thinks too hard about it, he’ll still feel like crawling out of his own skin and just feel _fake_.

Thankfully, those days are not the majority. He is firm in his will to carry this child to term, goddamn it; he's man enough to do it.

Obi Wan slowly runs his hand over the curve of his stomach, trying his best to be optimistic about the idea of bringing a child into the world. Because he _wants_ this, wants the happy house and to be able to live in a happy bubble without worrying about people like Harper. But the multitude of risks for the three of them and the child make it feel almost not worth it. And yet he knows, despite knowing he has the support of both men, he couldn't bear to end the pregnancy after all they've put into it. For better or worse, he's going to make it to term and accept the responsibility of not being careful enough.

Still, it doesn't mean he's not scared for everyone's safety. Anxiously resting his hand against his stomach, Obi Wan pulls the covers up higher over himself and buries his face against the pillows. They smell faintly of Qui Gon; if he were to turn on his other side, he'd get Anakin’s scent instead. With both in mind, he finds enough comfort to drift off for a while, curled into the sheets, stomach still in knots.

Hours pass, and if anything, Obi Wan wakes up feeling worse. The side of his body where he’d laid is aching slightly from having been laying on it awkwardly for so long. He exhales a soft groan and curls up on himself a little more, slowly blinking himself more awake. There’s the muted sound of the television on in the living room, which at least gives Obi some relief in knowing Qui and Anakin are back.

He goes to move, and only then becomes aware of arms wrapped around him. A moment passes where he stares at them in drowsy confusion before he recognizes them as Anakin’s. Obi glances back and sees him asleep as well, unable to hold back a small smile as he settles back against the younger man, smiling again wider when Anakin’s arms automatically tighten around his chest to pull him back close. The sounds outside must come from Qui Gon; Obi Wan debates moving to get him as well before deciding he’ll come into the room at some point later in the evening. He can relax in Anakin’s embrace for a while.

For all of two minutes. Once Obi Wan is fully awake and left to listen to the muted sounds of the television, and Anakin’s breathing, his thoughts of worry start filtering back in one by one. One hand moves to cover one of Anakin’s hands while the other rests protectively on his stomach again. It takes next to no time after that for all the paranoias and anxieties to come back to the forefront of his mind, reminding him of the very real threat of losing this. Obi takes a shaky deep breath and stiffens up a little, staring down at the bed beneath him.

From behind him, Anakin stirs with an exhale, warm against the back of Obi Wan’s neck. Another moment passes before he moves a little closer and presses a few sleepy kisses to the crook of the older man’s neck. “Feeling any better?” Anakin asks softly, his hands moving up to gently trace over Obi Wan’s stomach.

Obi Wan can’t help a small smile at the touch, even though it fades another moment later. The touch serves to further remind him of the imminent hurdles they’ll have coming because of _him_. Rather than answering, Obi turns his face further into the pillows, exhaling shakily and tightening his grip on Anakin’s hand. Anakin picks up on his mood immediately, and Obi Wan feels the man’s grip tighten on him as well before the rest of his body presses against him, concern thick in his voice when he speaks again, gentle as ever, “Hey, hey, it’s okay. ‘m here.”

Anakin continues to whisper reassurance while his hands rub comfortingly over Obi Wan’s hips and sides of his stomach, attempting to bring him down from what could escalate into a potential panic attack or something of the sort. Even still Obi can feel himself begin to shake a little, trying to press further into Anakin’s touch and slow his rapidly increasing breathing; all he can think of is losing this, of losing any and everything he’s found a sense of comfort in.

At some point during the almost-breakdown, Obi Wan becomes distantly aware of Qui Gon having joining them; the bed dips and one hand gently pushes through his hair while Anakin’s hands remain on the man’s stomach and waist. Despite keeping his face buried in one of the pillows, Obi can practically see the expressions of concern; Anakin’s worry lines and Qui Gon likely giving into the habit of biting the inside of his lip until the skin breaks. Even those images manage to coax Obi back down a few notches closer to calm again. Although even with the aid, it’s still ages longer before Obi Wan can pull his face away from the pillow, briefly glance up at Qui Gon in front of him and Anakin behind him, now sitting up but keeping a hand on Obi’s ribs. Obi’s eyes feel brimmed with tears even though they’d been fine mere seconds prior.

Once aware that Obi Wan (for the most part) has brought himself back down, Qui bends down just enough to press a kiss to his forehead, one hand still slowly combing through his hair. Obi smiles faintly and reaches back to squeeze Anakin’s hand before he does the same with Qui Gon’s. He focuses on the warmth of them and very consciously avoids any thought about the baby or anything related to it.

At least for a few lucky seconds, before Anakin cautiously asks “Do you want to talk about it?”

A part of Obi just wants to shake his head and hide himself as best he can. It’d be easier, and it’s not like they’ll be able to just neatly remove every event leading to his abandonment issues from his life. But it’s a mix of Anakin’s genuineness and looking up to see Qui Gon as concerned as ever, other hand now cupping Obi’s cheek, that makes him talk. Even though his voice shakes embarrassingly every time he starts to think too hard, and it likely takes him a good five minutes just to explain the ‘my-coworker-was-an-asshole-and-it-freaked-me-out-for-no-justifiable-reason’ part, not even bothering to go into the way he’d started thinking about everyone _else_ who’d acted the same way towards him in years previous. Anakin already knows some of it; Qui Gon knows almost all of it, having spent a good portion of their pre-relationship time being the one to comfort Obi after those incidents.

By the time he finishes speaking, Obi at least has stopped being near tears. Although the mood seems to have shifted to a different negative. When he looks up, there’s a noticeable anger behind Qui Gon’s concern now, and while unable to see Anakin in his current position, his hand has stopped tracing circles. Several seconds tick by, painfully slow and silent.

Then Anakin sits up fully, frowning and looking almost incredulous. “She can’t get away with that.”

Obi Wan smiles a little at his concern before dropping it and shrugging. “It’s not like she actively threatens me, it was one time ‘nd it won’t-”

“No, no fucking way.” Anakin cuts him off and moves onto his knees, looking between Obi and Qui Gon before speaking again. “She still harassed you and threatened the baby, there’s no way she can’t get fired for that.”

“Right, like Harper isn’t otherwise a fine employee and the most that’ll happen is a reprimand.”

Obi Wan, in all honesty, doesn’t know what the result of talking to his boss about Harper would be. He supposes, at least, she’ll get in some form of trouble, and at most it’s actually possible she could face being fired. Still, the thought of having to bring all this up again to someone he doesn’t trust half as much as his boyfriends make his stomach churn with anxiety.

On his other side, Qui Gon finally speaks up, continuing to run his hand through Obi’s hair. “You’ve gotta talk about it to your boss at least. Even if she doesn’t do as much as you’d want, she could at least start keeping your’s and Harper’s shifts separate.”

“I don’t _want_ anyone to do anything,” Obi Wan insists, sitting up enough that he can look at both men at the same time. “No one else needs to know that just because Harper insulted me that I came home and fucking cried about it. It’s not that big of a deal and it’s fucking embarrassing.”

He buries his face back into the pillow before he can catch either man’s reaction. Quiet spans for several seconds, and as much as Obi just wants to grab Anakin and Qui and hide himself between them, he can’t imagine having it go around how apparently easy it is to get to him, to knock down his self confidence after so long of trying to solidify it. Not long passes before the weight shifts on Anakin’s side of the bed, and the man kisses the side of Obi’s head before he gets off the bed completely. Obi Wan stays wrapped around the pillow until arms reach under him and pull him off it, settling him into Qui Gon’s lap.

Despite the automatic urge to push away and hide himself, Obi Wan relaxes into Qui Gon’s arms after a few hesitant moments. He doesn’t know where Anakin went, but he can now start to smell something cooking, and that gives him enough of an idea (it also explains what Qui might’ve been doing earlier, and considering either man’s complete inability to cook, they likely are going to need to order in). Still, it doesn’t hurt to be able to be with Qui Gon one-on-one; as aforementioned, Anakin had only heard of his previous encounters with people like Harper; Qui Gon had been there to learn how to work him through it every time.

“No one’s going to be judgemental if you say something,” Qui Gon whispers once Obi has settled into his grasp, resting his chin on the younger man’s shoulder. “Even if you don’t want to talk about what she said about you,” he pauses and places one hand over Obi Wan’s stomach “what she said about this is just as serious.”

Obi Wan sighs quietly and makes himself as small as he physically can, resting the side of his face against Qui’s. “She didn’t- _threaten_ , exactly. And- even if Harper were to try and get our kid taken away, she couldn’t. There’s nothing wrong with us for that to work.”

And yet still, deep down, Obi Wan gets another wave of anxiousness at imagining the alternate reality where their child gets taken away and the three of them falling apart as a result. The return of the thoughts make him turn further into Qui Gon’s arms, finding another brief moment of comfort at the touch. Qui wraps his arms more firmly around Obi’s chest, nuzzling the crook of his neck. “And we both know not everyone’s going to think that. We’ve gotta protect ourselves and stop this from getting out of control while we can. That means you’ve gotta at least talk to your boss about this; either me or Ani can go along to help you if you think it’ll help. But we can’t let this get further than this.”

While speaking, Qui runs his hands over Obi Wan’s stomach and sides, making him as comfortable as he can be. And Obi Wan hates how right the man is; as scary as it sounds to have to admit that Harper had actually dug deep with what she’d threatened, the idea of having it all actually happen is the far worse option. In response, he shakes his head a little, reaching a hand back to briefly run through Qui’s hair. “I can do it on my own. Just don’t want to.”

Qui Gon smiles against Obi Wan’s neck and kisses him just below his ear. “You know even if nothing happens, you’re going to feel better. That lady’s going to know she can’t fuck around with you anymore.”

Obi laughs a little at Qui Gon’s certainty, and despite knowing Harper won’t completely vanish once or if he decides to complain about her, the hope of it is a little further uplifting. When Qui eventually lets a bit of silence go on before asking if he’s alright, Obi Wan can manage a small nod. Even if worst comes to worst- he still has months to prepare for it. All three of them can get ready and have everything they’ll need to combat people like Harper trying to separate their family.

Once nodding, Qui Gon lifts Obi off his lap just long enough to stand and pull the man to his feet as well. He cups Obi’s cheek fondly, smiling briefly, before kissing him and making Obi feel briefly weak in the knees. They’re both smiling by the time Qui pulls away again, wrapping his other arm around Obi Wan’s waist. “You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known,” he promises quietly, running his thumb over Obi’s cheek, “and I’m proud of you. No matter what- me and Anakin both are so proud of you, Obi.”

Obi Wan can feel his face grow warmer once Qui’s words sink in, smiling a little and choosing to kiss the man again instead of properly responding. As much as his boyfriends might think otherwise, the last thing he feels is brave. He’s never felt brave; but he supposes if he’s made it this far along, the statement might not entirely be wrong.

Both men leave the bedroom and find Anakin sitting at the table, plates and drinks set out, head resting on top of his crossed arms as he stares at his phone. As soon as he notices the two, his attention snaps back onto them, standing before walking towards them and grabbing Obi Wan in a hug. Obi can hear him mouth ‘he’s okay?’ over his shoulder to Qui Gon, making him smile again and bury his face against the younger man’s neck. Another moment passes before he feels Qui Gon come up behind him and it becomes a sandwich of a group hug. It makes Obi’s mood go from a balanced neutral type to more genuinely happy, reveling in the feeling of being in between both men and feeling as warm as he ever does. He can feel Anakin and Qui kiss before Anakin’s mouth moves on to Obi Wan’s neck, aiming for every ticklish spot before sucking a faint bruise just under his jaw; an equally faint hickey lies just inches underneath, made by Qui Gon that same morning (and if asked, Obi could point out every mark on his body and which man gave it to him- the knowledge being something he prides himself in).

Once the three separate, a few brushing touches over Obi’s stomach not going unnoticed, Anakin nods back at the table and they finally get around to eating. And for Obi Wan being the only one out of them that can cook outside of microwave meals, it’s surprisingly good. Qui’s and Anakin’s prideful smiles at hearing so are equally as pleasant. As domestically normal as they’ll ever get.

After dinner, they skip out on cuddling up on the couch and go directly to the bedroom after leaving their dishes in the sink to be cleaned sometime in the morning. The three change into more comfortable clothes, and Obi Wan ends up sandwiched between Anakin and Qui Gon again (something that happens almost every time; not that he complains) once they all hit the bed. He’s pretty sure Anakin’s the one wearing one of Qui Gon’s shirts this time. Once the lights are off, the three of them press together, silent despite all of them being rather wide awake. Obi Wan runs his hand lazily over Anakin’s chest near where his head rests, feeling the occasional stutter in the man’s breathing every time he brushes over a sensitive spot just below the collarbone. Behind him, Qui Gon keeps one hand on Obi Wan’s waist and the other alternating between Obi’s stomach and just using it to hug the younger man closer. Everything feels planned out down to the smallest detail, every touch slowly winding the others down. Even Anakin, who’d been ready to march into Obi Wan’s work and drag the offending woman out himself, curls over Obi and is the first to doze off, face buried in Obi’s hair.

Qui Gon is next, giving Obi Wan’s hand a squeeze before resting it back over the man’s stomach until his breathing evens out with his exhaustion taking over. Obi Wan stays as still as he can, staring through the dark at what he can make out of the side of Anakin’s neck and the ends of his hair that curl slightly at the ends. Warm breath rhythmically hits the back of his neck and the top of his scalp. Like clockwork, he winds down further as well, all but melting into both men’s embraces. He doesn’t have another passing thought about a dismal future by the time he joins the two in sleep; rather, he feels maybe half as brave as Qui Gon builds him up to be. It’s a step down the right path.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> and don't forget to message me on my tumblr (tpmobiwan) if you have any extra comments or headcanons or just want to scream about this series with me.
> 
> my plan is to finish writing a vaderwan one-shot-thing before i get back to the series, though, so there will likely be another delay between publishings here. once again, check my tumblr for updates!


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